Lately, I have been spending a lot of time learning about us humans and how we are wired from our brain to our central nervous system and everything in between. I’ve been totally geeking out listening to podcasts, ted talks, reading articles and new books. It’s really interesting that I am learning so much more in a new way. When I was working on my Masters of Social Work and becoming a State of Florida Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I was taught everything is a pathology and because of that, it gets labeled a disorder. For example, post-traumatic stress disorder, substance use disorder, bipolar disorder, eating disorder and so on.
There has never been a lot of talk or focus on anything other than presenting symptoms and the industry of mental health has been quick to prescribe. I’m not saying medication isn’t helpful or necessary sometimes, but as I sit here today, it’s with confidence I say it’s time to look deeper than the symptoms.
Humans Need Connection.
As humans, we are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired for connection. Every person wants to love, be loved, and belong. The biggest problem in most people’s lives is trauma. I know this is a hard word for some, but it’s a necessary topic to begin bringing to the surface. People have a misunderstanding of trauma – meaning most think trauma is only the horrific things that happen to people from car accidents to physical assault and yes that is trauma, but it doesn’t begin and end there.
Trauma has been defined as
When a person doesn't believe they have the abilities or resources to cope with a problem, stimuli, or trigger, they create adaptive behaviors to avoid or deny it. In other words, they will adapt a behavior to help them cope. This occurs even if the behavior isn’t one that serves or supports the person, hence people turning to substances, food, sex, gambling, porn, shopping, so on.
It is not trauma itself that causes lifelong damage, but rather, how trauma interrupts one’s functioning by the destruction caused to the psyche and because of this, people end up disconnecting from self and others. This leads to great difficulties when it comes to reintegrating into a healthy life where people, places, and things are seen as well and functional. You’ve probably heard this before or maybe you haven’t, “The opposite of addiction, is not sobriety, it’s connection.” I think this is such a powerful statement – the reality is we need connection. We need to feel and to know we belong.
Unfortunately now a days, especially with social media, there is a lack of resources available to teach people how to foster authentic connection in their lives and social media as we all know has clearly created a separation – making it easier to isolate, live in a false reality, compare, the list goes on.
The things that I’m listing off are symptoms. 99% of people who are stuck in the same behaviors, cycles, patterns, or limiting beliefs are usually the people who have something deeper that has yet to be uncovered. You're not alone in this. We’re not alone in this. Every person has a story and the story's level of significance is a result of the meaning you attached to it.
There is so much power in being vulnerable. Vulnerability is truly the doorway to a life of love, joy, and freedom. When you’re vulnerable, you’re being authentic and authenticity
whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Here’s to remembering we can trust ourselves; we can trust other people; we can trust life.
Love & Light,
To learn more about Stephanie, visit www.themindfulliving.com where you will find her books, courses, and other experiences, as well as, events she is a part of. Follow her on Emenator @mindfulliving, Facebook @mindfulliving, and Instagram @mindfulliving.now. Find Mindful Makeover, 30-Day Workbook and Guide, on Amazon.